Mom

she is going to kill me for even writing anything on here about her. But oh well....

today was a decent day, I didn't cry, just still living in that numb feeling, like a big hole in your heart, that was until I got the mail. Mom sent me a bereavement card on the loss of your father and I am sure she sent the other kids one too. Of course, she wrote in it, of course I cried, darn it, I almost made it. But it's just like her thinking of others and how we are all feeling and not worrying about herself. Like on Tuesday she spent the day running dishes and plants to all of the brothers/sisters - she is just that person. No wonder her and dad made a good team, they never thought of themselves.

Even through dad's illness each time we would get bad news she would be the one to say okay, it's okay we are going to beat this thing, cancer isn't going to win, we are going to win. Even the day dad passed away, we were all crying, even she was, and after about ten minutes, she said okay, okay, he had a good life, he wouldn't want us to be crying, he isn't in pain anymore. And to watch her take care of him, the way she held him the last few nights, and the way she talked to him and told him it was going to be okay - it just, ah, to find that kind of love is just very rare and it is something I am sure we all strive for.....

Here is to you mom, for holding us all together, for being the optimistic one, for worrying about us more so than yourself, for being you. I love you!!!

Miss you and love you dad!

Much love to all,