It's all about Tom the Barber....

this one is all for Tom the Barber mom and dad's next door neighbor. I am sure he freaking out about what I may or may not type, but I am not going to type anything about him but just to let him know we love him dearly and he is a hoot.

What a weekend it was. Busy, busy, a lot of family time. Dad was able to make it to the graduation mass yesterday and even to Case's party last night. He lasted pretty long too, but he wasn't able to make it to the actual graduation. His back has really been hurting him and hospice came in today to change his medicine bag - but he is having these back aches and headaches. So we taped the main parts of the ceremony and he watched it and looked at the pictures as soon as we got back. Amy sat with him while we went which she really enjoyed since she wasn't able to come down much this past week. So it worked out well.

Case's speech was really good and his girlfriend gave one before him since she is the student council president and she hit it right on the nose, make sure you tell the people in your life that matter, that you love them and how you feel about them, do not take a day for granted, because tomorrow may never be there. I know I sound like a broken record because I have said it numerous of times, but it is so important to tell the people that you love, that you love them. they need to know.

I will post pictures sometime this week of the graduation - we are so proud of him, he is the baby of the family, born on my graduation day, he is making me feel old. Being there today made me want to go back to high school, where you had the whole future ahead of you and life was just so innocent at the time. To be young again :)

We were all at mom and dad's tonight trying to finish all of the food and the leftover keg (which I think is going to be impossible) but it was great to have everyone around. I think sometimes though that dad would just rather have peace and quiet and not such chaos.

here is to a good week for everyone. enjoy the weather.

much love to all,

Busy weekend

whew we have a busy weekend ahead of us. Casey, Jenny's oldest graduates on Sunday - he is the oldest grandson/grandchild and he is the valedictorian of his class. He will be headed off to Notre Dame in the fall which is a huge accomplishment. But he has known since a child that he has always wanted to go there and he worked hard to get there - it is great to see his dreams become a reality.

So we have his mass tomorrow morning and his party tomorrow night. Then the actual graduation will be on Sunday. We are praying that dad will be able to at least make it on Sunday depending on how he is feeling, if not we plan on taping the whole thing so he doesn't miss anything.

Mom told us tonight that she is putting us on curfew at their house. Since last Thursday we have all been there every night, some nights have been later than others and some not so late. But I told her she can not keep us away because we never know what tomorrow may bring. No one does, so we cherish each moment we have with one another and with dad.

He had may visitors today and he enjoyed every bit of them. He said he felt good today, just has a headache that he can't seem to get rid of - it must run in the family because I have one too. He was watching the Reds tonight when I left - hopefully he gets to bed soon and rests up. I know he has been sleeping well at night, he just wished he could get rid of this headache.

Thanks for all of the comments from the previous post - as hard as it is, it is important to remember and cherish the times we do have and how blessed we are - then the anger seems to subside.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and takes time to enjoy the weather and each other.

Much love to all,

One week

it amazes me that one week ago is when everything changed - mom and I said today Wow, what a difference a week makes. we made that drive again today to the VA hospital and all the way over there I just kept thinking of the last time we were here and just had an overwhelming feeling of anger. We were going today to get his stomach drained with the hopes of relieving some of his pain - we got there and the doctor that was suppose to do the procedure said he wasn't going to do it - it is too dangerous and what he could take out wouldn't be enough to relief his pain - dad was disappointed.

we called dr.draper when we got home to make sure that we weren't going to need it done and he said that the doctor was right! Ugh!!!!! Dad isn't in too much pain today - he just feels groggy all of the time and he hates that - he said it's like he can hear people around him talking and he tries to join the conversation but he can't get his mind and words to work out at the same time - it is frustrating.

I know his sisters were up today and visiting and his brother and one nephew are coming up tomorrow. He had his friends group over last night and as I said last night he is the richest man in the world - he is loved by so many. Mom made the comment yesterday that she was tired of being dressed up all of the time and I told her "Mom, most of the people have seen you looking much worse" LOL.... She loves the visitors too because it actually helps - he perks up and is talking to everyone and it gives him energy - so we want them to keep on coming.

Today was my angry day - I have been fighting a migraine the past two days, and today I was just angry - with the world I suppose. I know it is part of life, I know there is a reason for everything, but I am just angry and just want to scream and yell and then I'll probably be okay at least for a bit. I think everyone is entitled to an angry day especially when they feel the world around them is crashing in.

I hope he doesn't mind but I received an email today from Matt Barkimer (Robin's husband) he is riding in a two day marathon to help raise money for cancer. Here is the link to his page: http://www.pelotonia.org/ride/riders_profile.jsp?MemberID=1263&RiderName=Matt%20Barkimer
It is amazing how many lives this Cancer touches - you would think with everyone in the world being effected by it that there is a cure out there some where, maybe Sean is right, maybe it is just all about the money and politics.

Hopefully I don't wake up tomorrow with this migraine and being so angry and mad - but then again, I am entitled.....

Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Much love to all,

Wonderful Friends and Family

You can really tell how much a man is blessed not by his riches, or how big his house is, or fancy cars he may drive, but by how he is loved by family and friends. The outpouring for visitors to come see dad is so overwhelming on some days - I forget how many lives he has truly touched. It just makes me so proud to be his daughter and it makes me proud to know that I am a daddy's girl - as I am sure Amy and Jen feel the same way.

Had to call in hospice again today - it was for pain but is was also more for dad. He wanted to know why he is having hallucinations not all of the time and he hates having a groggy feeling, but it is all part of the whole thing. They went ahead and increased his medicine and are switching one of the other medicines around to see if that helps.

We go tomorrow to get his stomach drained - I believe it is around 1:00 - so I will post tomorrow afternoon. Dad appreciates the visitors - he actually perks up and really enjoys it.

We are truly, truly blessed to have so many family and friends. You wish everyone could be so blessed.

Thank you Rick C for the comment yesterday - it is so true.

Much love to all,

Today...

Dad seems to be doing okay today - Uncle Tom and Aunt Diana came up today and had a nice visit. He had hospice come in to change his medicine bag for him and he was able to take a long nap. He was saying tonight how the medicine is effecting his talking a little bit, not being able to get the thought out in one sentence. And I said "Well, that's okay dad, we are used to Sean talking" (LOL Sean, I am just kidding!!). Dad laughed...

It is good to see him laugh. As hard as this on all of us, I know and can only imagine how hard it is on him. Tonight Cary graduated from 8th grade - woo hoo and Casey graduates this weekend from high school. He is the valedectorian - what a major accomplishment that is. We are ALL so proud of him.

It's been a crazy couple of days and dad was saying tonight how much he enjoys the visits with everyone- he really does.

I found this quote when I was searching the Internet and I hold it to be true. EVERYONE needs a family - everyone needs to feel the blessings that we have being feeling for the past couple of months, especially these last couple of days...

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family:Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. (Jane Howard)

Much love to all,

Long weekend...

It has been a long weekend. I kept getting confused that today was Sunday. With everything that happened on Thursday and mom's brother being in town this weekend, I am drained. But I haven't been able to sleep much, none of us really have. I know we have gone through ALOT of beer and the good ole' liver needs a rest :)

Dad had to call in hospice yesterday again to adjust his medicine. I think it is at a good point right now - he said he was feeling okay today about a 4 1/2 which is great considering how he was doing on Friday. He has many visitors coming in and out and he cherishes every visit. I am sure he is completely drained and wiped out also. He is probably tired of all of us kids hovering around him. But I told him on Thursday to expect us or one of us to be around 24/7 and he said that is fine - so we have been. We have been letting him have his nights but we started to make sure one of us is there during the day with him, so if he needs anything or if mom needs a break he won't be left alone.

I have been reading the same bible passage over and over since Thursday - in hopes of finding peace to all of this. I appreciate all of the comments and we were all saying last night, how truly blessed we really are, we really are!!!!

Psalm 23
The Lord is my Shepherd
I have all that I need
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

Much love to all,

Quick update...

Dad is FINALLY having a good day. They did have to call in hospice last night around 11 because his pain was back up to a 9-10 level. The nurse came within the hour and adjusted his medicine - he slept great through the night and mom said he has had a great morning. He is eating and she said it is the best she has seen him in a long time.

I hope it lasts for a while and I am glad it is today - mom's brother is in town again this weekend and I know they were excited to see him again - so he is going over this evening and mom said they are having many visitors which is great.

I'll update later but I just wanted to quickly say that he doing okay today and the pain has seemed to be under control (hopefully I just didn't jinx us)

Have a great day!

Much love to all,

Pain...

Today wasn't a good day for dad. He was in a lot of pain most of the day. Hospice came in and dad was in tears most of the morning. Dr. Draper had started him on a pain patch yesterday and it is suppose to take 12-24hours before it kicks in. Well... it never kicked in and they had the dosage wrong.

So Lisa, our Hospice nurse, another blessing because she is a friend of Amy's, she put a rush on the portable pump that they put dad on. He finally was getting some relief around 3:00 - but it was a long morning. Jen, Amy and I were there most of the day and the boys are going to be there tonight because we are going to go watch Casey in a play. The boy who hardly speaks is in a play :)

Hopefully this pump will make dad comfortable enough to wear he isn't in so much pain. There is nothing worse than having that helpless feeling. All we can do today is watch him and tell him some relief was on it's way and to hang in there - if I could take any of his pain away from him I would. I know all he wants is to be pain-free.

It is by far the hardest thing we will ever go through and we are blessed that everyone's jobs are so understanding and are allowing everyone to take off. Of course me being the unemployed one didn't have to worry about that :).... But they are going to take off as needed and we are just going to do our best to keep him pain free and to be there together - as a crazy family - that we are :)

Tomorrow, if all goes well, should be a better day for dad and he may be up for visitors. It is best to call first though just to make sure.

Much love to all,

The day time stood still - again......

Oh what a horrible day today was. It is breaking my heart to type this and I wish I didn't have to so soon.

I picked up mom and dad this morning and I could tell dad wasn't feeling well. His color wasn't good and he wasn't talkative. He hasn't been eating much and his stomach was bloated. We went and saw Dr. Draper. He said the words we dreaded to hear" It is the beginning of the end" How does one take in those words, how do you fully comprehend what he is saying. It can't be, not now, we just lost Uncle Wally, we can't be losing dad too so fast. Dr. Draper went on to say the tumor has grown to where he can feel it with his hands, dad is losing weight too quickly, he is in constant pain, his numbers aren't good.

I tell you - today was the worst day ever. Dad cried, mom cried, I cried, Dr. Draper cried. He has grown to love our family and him and dad had such a great relationship - we were truly blessed to have him as a doctor - truly blessed.

So now, we have called in hospice, they are suppose to be here tomorrow - the goal is to just keep dad as comfortable as possible as his body is shutting down. We have been having many moments today, all of us have been here, some longer than others, crying, laughing, drinking, and drinking some more :).... But dad - he has been such a trooper and so strong. After this morning and the initial shock of hearing the news, he is making his jokes like he has to watch his weight - he has to look good for the blondes waiting for him. Amy - God love her, asked dad if he could make some dinners so we could freeze them so we didn't have to eat mom's cooking on Sundays :)

We knew this day was going to come, but not so soon, I was hoping for a year, not a month after Uncle Wally passed away. He must be bored up there, and he needs someone to pick on. LOL :)

So we deal, we continue to deal with it the way we know how to. We cry, we laugh, we drink and we be together. And as dad says he wants to talk about it, because after the initial shock of it and the initial tears of the news, he just wants to live his life the best he can.

Please, please do not hesitate to call here or come and visit - it really helps him get his mind off things. And if he is having a bad day, we will let you know.

Much love to all,

Faith and Endurance

A dear friend gave me this scripture today and I wanted to share it with everyone:

James 1: 2-5
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Troubles, we all have them, sometimes one may have more than others, but we do all have them. We need to try to face the pain, the trouble with a positive outlook - if that is at all possible. Because we are going through our troubles for a reason and in the end we can look back and say, I became a stronger person, or this is what I learned from my trouble. And God is always there he is never going to leave us alone in our troubles, he will help us grow through them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To the "anonymous" person who left the comment about dad - YES I agree, we have an AWESOME dad, he never complains or gripes about what he is going through. I know there are tough days but he is doing his best to enjoy each and every day. I am truly blessed and honored to have him as my dad - I couldn't ask for a better teacher, a better friend, a better DAD. Thank you whoever left that message!

Much love to all,

Boy was I wrong...

I just came back from a Relay for Life meeting - boy it's a lot more than I thought and I was wrong on the time. I had the right dates it is June 13th and 14th, BUT the times are that it starts at Noon on the 13th and ends at 6:00am on the 14th!

Each team gets a tent and has to decorate it and the best tent wins a prize. The theme for the walk is "Play for a Cure" so we have to come up with a sport/game type theme. There is a silent auction that we have to bring something for, you can bring sleeping bags/pillows, coolers of soft drinks/water, no alcohol (Sean, Jert!!) etc...

I guess I just thought I'd sign up, get a team, collect money and walk :).... Not that I mind at all, it is for a great cause because we need to stop this disease in it's tracks.

So if anyone would like to walk just let me know and I can make a schedule up - I will be there the whole time, Jeremy said he would walk the wee hours of the morning with me, so those of you who didn't want to walk because of the time I had before, well now you can walk in the afternoon and the sunshine.

I do know the survivors walk is in the opening ceremony at noon. So all of you survivors out there who want to make that first lap, please come and join us. The luminary ceremony will be at 10:00 pm. I will put all of this in a file and post a link on here this weekend with all of the information. It is a lot to type right here.....

Sorry for getting it wrong, but maybe we can get more walkers now :)

Much love to all,

Simple but meaningful

Prayer. Aunt Carol sent this to me in my email tonight and it is short but it is right to the point and we need prayers like this.


GOD OUR FATHER,
WALK THROUGH MY HOUSE
AND TAKE AWAY ALL MY WORRIES AND ILLNESSES;
AND PLEASE WATCH OVER AND HEAL MY FAMILY
IN JESUS ' NAME. AMEN


HAPPY BIRTHDAY - AUNT DIANA!
XXXOOOXXXOOO

Much love to all,

Goodbye, Pond

Several years ago dad made a swimming pool - okay it really wasn't a swimming pool, it was a pond but it was big enough for a swimming pool. I remember when he was building it, we were all like nice hole in the yard dad and it was one of those projects where it was started and we never knew if it would get finished. Well he did finish it and each year it was looking better and better, with flowers, and fish swimming - the kids loved it. They knew going over to Grandpa's they got to feed the fish and watch them swim.

Dad decided about a week ago or so he didn't want the pond anymore,he wanted to fill it in. The boys came over today and they drained it and were moving the rocks away and I just felt sad watching them, because it was something dad had built and worked so hard on and within five hours, the boys had a lot of dismantled. The plan is to fill the hole and plant a garden there instead. We will see if that is a project that gets done :)

He hasn't had a good couple of days since probably Friday. He didn't go to the recital last night and he just feels blah today. He has been getting a lot of headaches, in a little pain and just feeling like shit as he always says. I left early tonight because I knew he wasn't feeling good and he kept holding his head. And as one that gets headaches all of the time and sometimes migraines, I know I don't want to be bothered or have any one around me. But I know the boys and Jen were still there - but hopefully he will be able to get some rest tonight. I guess I just assumed since he wasn't doing chemo that he would be feeling better and to me he seems to be feeling worse. At least that is what I see.


Here is one of my favorite quotes:
It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. (Alan Cohen)

I hope everyone has a good week.

Much love to all,

Go Away....

Rain, rain go away - I know it didn't rain today but it is suppose to tonight and tomorrow. It is good every once in a while to have the rain to water the flowers and the grass but it kind of brings a person down. I could never leave in Seattle, I would be depressed all of the time. I know the weatherman said Sunday was suppose to be sunny, but you know, they are always wrong.

Tomorrow Olivia has her dance recital - dad isn't sure if he is going or not, three hours is a long time to sit there, I even think so and I am not the one with cancer - these things can be brutal, especially when they are younger because they only seem to do one or two dances and of course it is always one in the first act and then the next act so you have to sit and wait and wait. But hopefully since she is getting older, she'll be in more dances. (Thank God, I had boys :) )

But he had a good day today, when I was leaving yesterday I told him I hoped he had a pain free day today and he laughed and said "Your mother will be here :) " I know, she doesn't find that funny......

Much love to all,

Today's decision

We went this morning to go for a doctor's appointment. Dad was suppose to get chemo but for today he decided against it. We saw one of Dr. Draper's partners since Draper is on vacation. And when dad told him he didn't want to do chemo he wasn't happy at all. But dad proceeded to tell him he didn't want to have to deal with that pain that comes after chemo and keep winding up in the hospital. The doctor said that pain wasn't due to the chemo and that they were perplexed as to what the pain actually is.

We know it has something to do with chemo because he is only in that pain after a treatment. So maybe he has an internal open sore that the medicine is hitting or something, but the chemo does have an effect on it. His counts were great today of course but he decided to wait at least until next week when we see Dr.Draper, maybe they can lower the dosage or do some other type of chemo. When dad told Ruth the oncology nurse, she said exactly what I had said and he was happy to hear it "It's your body, and your decision and I don't blame you for not taking the chemo" - She is such a godsend!

The past two days have been great for dad - he said he has never felt so good, BUT then he ate two White Castles yesterday afternoon and he is still paying for it. I asked him why in the world would you do that, he said well they were there and they looked good, but now I regret it, terrible :).....

We had two of the grandkids with us, Jeremy's baby Kali and Logan who is 17months now and it was fun, it actually livened the place up and everyone kept coming up to them ooh and aah but that is what that place needs, a little more liveliness and happiness......And don't we all need a little reminder of how life can be through the eyes of children.

Much love to all,

Thunderstorms

Appropriate for today:

Child's View of Thunderstorms
A little girl walked to and from school daily.
Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were
forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school.

As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with lightning.
The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would befrightened as she walked home from school and she feared the electricalstorm might harm her child.

Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school. As she did, she saw her little girl walking along At each flash oflightning, the child would stop, look up, and smile..Another and another flash of lighting followed quickly and with each,the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile.

When the mother's car drew up beside the child, she lowered the windowand called to her 'What are you doing?'The child answered,'I am trying to look pretty because God keeps taking my picture.'

May God bless you today and everydayas you face the storms that come your way.

(Thank you Aunt Carol)

Prayer

This was posted under comments but you can't link to it, so I thought I'd put it here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krzwmhDMvv8

Prayer - what a wonderful thing.

Much love to all,

Everything is Possible....

Everything is possible for him who believes (Mark 9:23)

In my meditation book it talks about how God is always seeking to teach the way of faith. Faith requires many areas of learing, trial, discipline, patience, and courage of faith. When we make requests or prayers to God, and he doesn't answer, we are not to give up, we are to keep FAITH and keep on believing his word. We are to never sway from how we feel or what we believe. He often doesn't answer our prayers or delays his response in that he is testing us, that he is testing our faith and our belief in him.

I know there are some days where it is always about me and why things are happening to me and what I can do to change it, instead of being patient I want action now. I want things to change right away, I want cancer to be cured, I want dad to be healed, TODAY, but I know that it isn't going to happen, but it doesn't keep me from having those doubtful days. But I know I am learning my best to be patient and just to sit back and relax and to make the realization that it isn't in my hands, that it is all in God's hands and I have to keep the FAITH!

Much love to all,

Simple Prayer...

Dad hasn't been feeling well the last couple of days, just tired and yucky. I know he isn't eating much and today when I stopped in he said he had a headache. He looked a little pale too. Hopefully he gets some rests and his pain and discomfort will go away. He wasn't sure if he was going to mass tonight or not and I haven't talked to him since this afternoon.

Dear God, Please be with dad and take away his pain, Please give him the comfort he needs to have a good day to where he can enjoy the outdoors and the beautiful weather. And hopefully golf a few holes :).... With all of our love.....

Much love to all,

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful women out there. It was a beautiful day for "our day". I laugh because it is suppose to be our day right, our day when we get the day off, our day when we don't have to deal with the kids. Hmmm................ Somehow we still don't completely get "our days" unless we were to leave the country. Because as long as mom is around, the kids will not go to dad - it's always "Mom, I need or Mom, I want" But that is part of being a mom right.

Today brought back a memory for me and I think of it every Mother's Day. All of us kids went to St.Anthony school in Taylor Mill and we all made our First Communion on Mother's Day (different years of course) but I remember it being so special because the parents would get up on the altar and us little seven year olds would give our mom's flowers and I remember the song that we played during the ceremony "Edelweiss" and I remember every year no matter if it was Jenny being the first one or if it was Jeremy being the last one, my mom would cry every single First Communion - her and the other mom's of course. It was something we could always count on. I guess I thought of that today because it is Mother's Day, they still make their First Communion at St.Anthony's on this day, and Sound of Music is on tonight - so it just made me think of that memory. To be young again :)

We had a great time at mom and dad's - dad wasn't feeling too well, he said he was still having stomach pains, but he is such a trooper. But it was nice that everyone was there and the boys did the grilling and Case and Cary cleaned up and did the dishes afterwards. I know, we should of took a picture because that doesn't happen very often! And I got the best gift of all today, Brayden made me a "coolie cup" I think that is how you spell it. I will have to put a picture of it up tomorrow, but he said it was to keep my drinks cold, well, it sure did keep my beer cold :) LOL..... but those are the gifts I treasure the most. I am not a materialistic person and I am not about expensive gifts, the best gifts to receive are the ones from the heart - those are the ones I cherish!
*******************************
Here is a poem to end Mother's Day - Much love to everyone and hope all the women out there had a Blessed Day!

Before I was a Mom Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom -I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -I had never been puked on - Pooped on - Spit on - Chewed on, or Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and My thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests...or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom -I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom -I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known The warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

Much love to all,

I found

this hysterical - I hope no one gets offended - if so I am sorry..... I thought dad might enjoy it!


http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74/the-landlord-from-will-ferrell-and-adam-ghost-panther-mckay

Much love to all,

In

honor of Mother's Day - the video is a little long but funny - I know all of us mothers have experienced melt downs in the grocery store. Enjoy....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOrmvZF46hg


Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day
With little time to stop and pray
For life's been anything but calm
Since You called on me to be a mom
Running errands, matching socks
Building dreams with building blocks
Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes
And other stuff that children lose
Fitting lids on bottled bugs
Wiping tears and giving hugs
A stack of last weeks mail to read
So where's the quiet time I need?
Yet when I steal a minute, Lord
Just at the sink or ironing board
To ask the blessings of Your grace
I see then, in my small one's face
That you have blessed meAll the while
And I stop to kiss That precious smile

********************************************
On a side note: Dad is feeling okay today, he said he is still having stomach pains - I don't know if we will ever figure any of that out - hopefully one day we will.......

Much love to all,

True Blessing

What a TRUE blessing it is to be part of this family. We have such a wonderful and supportive family, there aren't words to describe how lucky I feel to be part of it all. Being at Uncle Wally's funeral was overwhelming with love and support and tears and laughter - it was a true testimony to who he was and how much he was loved. It was a celebration of his life and the memories will be forever in our hearts.

It was good to see everyone and some people that haven't been around in a while. Truthfully, I was humbled about the blog and how everyone is enjoying it. Honestly, I kept telling people it isn't a big deal, if you want to read my ramblings, more power to you - I know some days they don't make sense and they are way out there, but as I told a few people yesterday it is just me speaking from the heart and it has been therapeutic for me.

I know dad said he had a good day as far as his pain was concerned, he felt really good. He was even able to have four beers and he ate some chicken wings and cake and other not so good stuff for you, BUT of course he paid for it this morning. When I picked him up he said he felt like sh** and he was miserable. All of that stuff from yesterday was coming back to haunt him. He did have a blood transfusion today but they only had to give him a pint because his blood count did come up a little bit. So we were home by 11:30 which is a record for us!

He did decide that he does not want to take chemo anymore. He doesn't want to feel that pain and be all sick for days afterwards. He doesn't want to live that way. Dr. Draper is on vacation for the next two weeks so we are going to wait until he comes back to talk to him about it and to see what our options are and what exactly will happen if he does stop taking chemo.

So we have to wait and see..... It seems we are doing that alot!

Just wanted to say what a beautiful mass it was yesterday, even though we couldn't see or understand the priest very well, God bless him for trying and for allowing us to have a few laughts. Much love to Aunt Bernie and her whole entire clan - you are truly blessed!

P.S. On a side note, the Relay for Life walk is about a month away, there is still time to join the team or to make a contribution. If you want to write a check, make it out to American Cancer society and just mail it to me and I will make sure they get it. In joining the team, there is no schedule of when everyone is walking, I know Jeremy and I plan on being there the whole night (at least that is what he said) but I know I'll be there, and you can walk anywhere between Midnight-6am - so feel free to come anytime or better yet, have a peaceful sleep for me!

Much love to all,

Short Visit...

Well today was a short visit to the hospital, probably the shortest ever. We went over and he had his blood drawn and it came back that he does need a transfusion. But he decided to wait for the transfusion until Thursday because he didn't want to feel yucky for tomorrow for the funeral and being with family. So his transfusion is set for Thursday.

He was in a great mood this morning and I was so happy to spend the time with him. He was telling me stories about how they use to have to take the bus over to Uncle Mike's house when Uncle Mike lived in Price Hill and how they would spend the whole day there, but they had to leave by 6:00 so they could get home by 8:00. It was a great morning, I loved spending time with him just me and him, mom didn't go. It was great!

He was walking down the hall at the hospital and he tripped over his footing, he didn't fall or anything, but he said, it's my stupid leg, it doesn't lift up. I am like what is a stupid leg. He said the leg opposite of what you are, if you are right handed then you have a stupid left leg and if you are left handed you have a stupid right leg - um, okay....

His big plans for the day was fixing the flag pole and putting the flag back up, he said he didn't want to exert himself :)

It will be great to see everyone tomorrow, but I wish it was under better circumstances :(. Thank you for the prayer Aunt Judy, it was a beautiful scripture. It is under comments if you want to read it. And you are right, it is for our family.

Much love to all,

A little better

Dad was feeling a little better, but not much. When I called him this afternoon, he said the pain was still there but the meds they gave him seem to be helping a little bit. He said he was able to get some sleep. He sounded so tired and worn out when I called.

Tomorrow morning we go for a blood test. We don't know for sure if he has to have a blood transfusion or not, we will find that out tomorrow. So it could be a short visit to the hospital or it can be an all day trip - whichever the case, I'll pack a bag for an all day trip. Better to be prepared than not.

Thank you Uncle Dave for the prayer - it was beautiful. I will post everyone tomorrow on what happens in the morning.

Much love to all,

The chemo hits...

I talked to mom today before I went to mass and she was saying how dad was up yesterday and was feeling okay - he did cut the grass and went to church. This morning he was tired and had been in bed all day but she said he hadn't said anything about pain. As I was leaving church I saw a message on my phone, Jen was taking him to the emergency room - that quickly things changed.

She said he was doubled over in pain like he was the other two times but this time was much worst. He was numb all over, cold chills and had a tingly feeling over his whole body. They gave him three shots of a pain medicine (I don't know how to spell it, demeraol?) and his pain had seemed to subside to a 7 - the doctors were monitoring him and they gave him this pain medicine to take with him. Dad didn't want to stay in the hospital - who can blame him. When I called mom this evening she said that he was sleeping.

I know dad is going to choose not to take chemo anymore. When we talked about it last week he said if he is continuing to have that pain after chemo and being miserable he doesn't want to take it, he doesn't want to live in that pain and again, who can blame him on that. So we will see what tomorrow brings, hopefully he has a restful night and hopefully the pain subsides to where he can withstand it.

Continue to pray............

Much love to all,

Not such a good day

It wasn't such a good day for dad today. It was the day after "Captain Chemo" hit him and mom said he just felt like, as he says I feel like shi*. Mom said it wasn't so much pain as it was just that blah feeling, tired and just basically blah. Hopefully it doesn't last too long and he will be back to normal by Monday. I suppose it's okay to feel blah this weekend since it is suppose to rain, but he'll probably miss his Derby parties.

He is suppose to go Tuesday for a blood test. The nurses were surprised that he was even allowed to get chemo this week because of his red blood count being so low. Dr. Draper wants to check his blood on Tuesday and he might have to have another blood transfusion - I am sure he isn't looking forward to that.

On another note, Brayden is a first grader - well, not technically until June 5th his last day of school. His program went well and was very cute but it doesn't make sense that they had it today and consider it their graduation program, but yet they have another month of school left. Crazy huh!

Just kind of been a blah day all around. Brayden just wanted to come home and play the Wii and Logan and I just played and for me today, it was just kind of a blah day also - the weather doesn't help. So hopefully the sun will be shining soon and the blahness will go away.

I hope everyone picks a winner tomorrow night and enjoy the race.

On another note, please say a prayer for Uncle Doug, mom had called and said he has a herniated(spelling?) disc and isn't getting around very well.

Much love to all,