Yesterday was Uncle Mike's birthday - he would have been 70. Would have been... I hate saying that! Even though we all know he isn't in pain anymore, loosing him was not easy especially for Aunt Carol and the boys. When I received word from Sean the night he passed away, I was out playing volleyball and the tears came down - it just broke my heart as I knew the long journey ahead for the boys and for Aunt Carol.
Immediately the next morning, the troops started emailing each other knowing that we all needed to be with Aunt Carol, knowing that we had gone through the same thing, the things they may or may not need, but just to show our support. We were all fine when we meet at mom's that afternoon, with the basket of goodies and the beer in tow, we headed out. Still no tears, everyone was good, calm. Then we walked into Aunt Carol's house and she saw us, I was the first one to hug her - and it all came rushing back, the memories of that first 24 hours, of when someone passes. Some people just make you cry, not sure if it is the comfort of their hugs, if it is because you are close to them, if you know they have been through it, but some people you can just let go and cry, be angry at, ask the why questions.
We were hesitate in going over that first night because we weren't sure if they just wanted to be with immediate family or not, but I am so glad we did. We all talked a lot, about the pain, about what the next year is going to hold, about the wonderful memories of Uncle Mike and stories, oh the stories :)
The funeral was very nice - it was a beautiful morning and the tribute to Uncle Mike was outstanding, again another stellar member of the Hut A/C family, so a lot of ole ball players that he use to coach came by just to pay tribute to a great man. Many tears were shed that day, many stories were told and many beers were consumed. It was a beautiful day to celebrate a great man's life.
And now almost two weeks have gone by, everyone has gone back to work, everyone tries to move on the best they can. Yesterday they celebrated Uncle Mike's birthday by going to the Reds game, what a great tribute to the #1 fan! I was so happy to see that on FB. As cliché as it is to say, life goes on. It is a different life, you have something missing in your heart, in your soul, there is always that empty chair at the family gatherings, there is always a child asking about Grandpa, there is always going to be stories told, some days you will cry, some days you will laugh until it hurts, some days you will be angry at the world of why do they take them so young, some days you will be grateful for the time you were able to spend with them, you will question every decision you ever made, if we went this route he may still be with us.
I am not going to lie and say it is going to be easy, it isn't an easy thing to do at all and you never truly let go, you just learn to live on. You miss them dearly every day, and you tell stories every day, you want the younger grandkids to learn about Grandpa and you don't let the older ones forget...
I know he is in a better place but it doesn't make it better or easier for the people that he left behind. Take one day at a time, don't be afraid to cry, don't be afraid to laugh and tell stories. Make sure you tell each other all of the time that you love them, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Happy Birthday Uncle Mike - I will never forget your smile and your great dance moves, your laughter and your "getting personal" gesture - you will be missed greatly! Love you!!
Miss and love you dad ~ so much.
Much love and happiness to all,
