Good day...

Dad had a good day - at least he was having a good day this morning. It was one of those days where everything was just going right. He was able to get his blood drawn early, we got right in to see the doctor, he got to have his chemo and we were out there by 11:30 - which for us is an all time record. So we were happy!

He was feeling good this morning, I know the real test will be tomorrow. It seems the Friday after he has chemo is when he had been getting all that pain which lead him into the hospital. So this will be the real test of if that nerve blockage procedure is really working.

Funny story today: Mom had taken my keys to go put dad's medicine in the car and it was pouring down rain, and dad and I were inside waiting for an addition to his prescription. We got his prescription and we were walking out to the car in rain (no umbrella of course) and mom had left the car and was walking opposite of where we were walking - and I am yelling for her, Mom, mom and I stopped and I said uh duh - she can't hear. And of course it is raining the whole time, so when I finally got her I told her I needed my keys to let dad in the car and she was trying to unlock the car with the automatic keyring and she couldn't do it -dad is like " Haven't you learned not to give her anything like that, she can't handle the technology"

I guess you had to be there, but it's moments like that, that make the trips and the long days over at the hospital worth it - it really is my entertainment for the week :)

Much love to all,

So cute...

Brayden is having a prayer service this Friday that is being considered his kindergarten graduation - I was talking to him last night about it and I told him I invited Grandma and Grandpa and Grandma Jean. I said if Grandpa is feeling well he may be there, but he may not. He goes, "Mom why did you invite all those people, I am going to get stage fright" :) He is so nervous for this little half hour prayer service.

I don't know how it happened, but one day he was my baby and I turn around and now he is this little man. I was feeling old enough knowing Case is graduating this year from high school - he was born on my high school graduation day - so I am always going to know how long I have been out of school - thanks for the reminder Case :)

It is amazing how quickly life passes you by. We need to grab hold of it and hold onto it as long as we can - especially the good times and the good friends. We never know how long we are here for, so take hold of it and enjoy life!

Much love to all,

Tongue Tied

Dad's chemo has been moved to Thursday - instead of making us go over there two days, we will just be there longer on Thursday. When he called me this morning to tell me he was having a hard time getting the words out - he said he was tongue tied, it was almost like he just got up and was still tired.

On another note, Tonya said Aunt Bernie should be in by Friday. They are all suppose to get together at Susan's house on Saturday.

Not much new and exciting going on, except I had an amazing day - but who cares about that right :)

Much love to all,

Block...

I am having writer's block tonight - nothing new to report - Dad is having chemo this week on Wednesday morning instead of Thursday. Thursday he is going to see the doctor. He is feeling good, just a bit tired. I think this nice weather helps give him a positive attitude, it's hard to be down when you have such beauty outside. Of course, I say that and it is suppose to rain the rest of the week.

I want to thank all of those so far who have contributed or who have joined our Relay for Life team - I know we have all been hit hard by cancer whether it's our family or friends, it seems like everyone gets hit by it. Hopefully some day they will find a cure for it - we can only hope right.

Sorry it is kind of boring tonight, I think I am just tired, physically and mentally so I have a writer's block - not that I am a writer. I am just a person jotting down endless thoughts to everyone who reads it. I know some make sense and some don't, some are rambles and some aren't (like tonight's is :) ).... I just speak from the heart and what is on my mind.

Enjoy the raining weather this week, hopefully the weather man is wrong :)

Much love to all,

Great Visit.....

What a weekend! - Whew I am tired. Last night turned into a family reunion which was GREAT and mom and dad were so happy to see everyone again, on mom's side. Uncle Tom, his son Tim and Tim's son, SeanLuc came in from Florida to visit with mom and dad. And then Uncle Ron (mom's brother-in-law) and all of his kids showed up and it was just wonderful to see everyone again. It amazes me how we all live in the Northern Kentucky area and we haven't see each in at least 5 years - and some of us go to the same church but we just never pass by each other. Crazy huh!

It was a beautiful day and night. I think SeanLuc had fun exploring in the woods behind mom and dad's house and the younger boys played in the creek, so I know Brayden had a great time. Of course the beer was flowing too well and the White Castles were brought out (yuk - unless you have been drinking :) ).... But it was wonderful to see them all again and I know mom had a great time and her beer was a flowing too - she said she spent the day today on the couch, off the couch, on the couch, off the couch :) She told me "Thank goodness we don't do this all of the time, I couldn't stand these hangovers all of the time!"

Dad - he is such a trooper - he hung in there with everyone at least until midnight or 12:30 - he finally came up to me and said he was going to bed, he was beat - but he made it through. Today none of us went over to their house, I know dad needed to rest up and just have peace and quiet and catch his breath. I along with everyone else was so tired and just wanted to veg, so I hung out with the boys today and enjoyed the beautiful weather before the rain comes in. I hope everyone had a great weekend, and enjoyed your families.

I just hope it's not another 15+years that we see our family from Florida again - way too long.

Much love to all,

Beautiful Weekend

Wow - what a day it was and the weekend is going to be just as beautiful. I hope everyone takes the time to enjoy it - it is a great night to relax on the deck with some cold ones!...

Dad was busy with flower shopping, Uncle Tom and Aunt Diana came up and Deacon Bob, they watched Kali (well mom watched Kali) so know he is feeling a little sluggish right now - mom asked me if there was such a thing as bad blood - um?? Probably..... BUT they are super excited about the visit with Uncle Tommy and his son Tim and Tim's son Sean Luc... Mom reminded me last night that I haven't seen Tim in like 15 years - WOW! - We had a family reunion a couple of years ago at my house and he was the one and only who didn't make it - boy is he going to be surprised about how everyone grew up :)

Not sure if I'll be able to post tomorrow (may have a few too many - what?? :) )... so if I don't just wanted to say everyone have a GREAT weekend and I will definitely post something on Sunday.

Much love to all,

Exhausting Day...

No chemo today. Dad's red blood cell count was low and he was a little anemic - he had to have a blood transfusion which took about 4 hours - It was a long exhausting day for him - I am sure he took a long nap when we finally got home. I think it is a good thing he didn't have chemo. We saw Dr.Draper today and he said he was probably anemic since he had two big procedures done last week and with the emotional and mental and physical trip he took to Florida, his body needs a rest. So I think it is great that he wasn't able to get it, need to let him rest and he'll get it next week. AND Dr.Draper said the cancer is still STABLE - yeah!!!!!

It worked out well too, because mom's brother Tom is coming in this weekend. We were worried that it might not be a good weekend because of chemo, but now we don't have to worry about it, dad is excited to see him and can't wait to spend time with him.

Dad had an ah ha moment today. The nurse as she was getting his vitals asked how dad's pain was and he stopped for a moment and he said you know what - I don't have any! He was ecstatic that he was able to say that. I know our real test is going to be when he does have chemo because that is when he seems to get the worse pain, but today he said he didn't have any and that made him very happy to say - it is has been so long for him to be in pain, that I was happy and glad for him to not be in pain - what a great thing!

Just in case everyone isn't reading Theresa's blog - Uncle Wally's funeral is set for May 6th at 11:00am at Holy Cross in Latonia.

Much love to all,

RELAY FOR LIFE....

Okay - I am tired of this cancer crap and I just really, really want to kick its Ass! (excuse my language) - I know it isn't much but I decided to form a team for the Relay for Life Walk. It is scheduled for June 13th-14th at Dixie Heights High School. It is a little different in that it starts at Midnight on the 13th and you finish at 6:00am on the 14th. It is not a run or a marathon, you just form a team and you have to have one member of your team on the track at all times. So you could walk for an hour or fifteen minutes or you could walk around the track the whole night. If we can get enough members on our team and if you can stay awake we may have shifts of walking for only an hour if that. I know it's late and alot of people will be snoozing, but if you are a late owl and aren't doing anything else.....

So if you would like to join our team or would like to contribute to our fight against this horrible disease go to the following link and follow the directions. If you have any problems please let me know and I can help you through it.
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/timmerdings

Team Name is: Ding Dong ( I know it's corny)

This is in memory of all the family and friends we have lost to cancer, this is for all our family and friends we know that are fighting this disease and it is for the hope of finally finding a cure so our future generations don't have to go through this horrific disease.

Much love to all,

It's going well.

I talked to Tonya today and she said at the moment everyone is doing well. She said everyone had a GREAT time last night. It was the 4 uncles and all of the kids and Aunt Bernie sitting around celebrating the life of Uncle Wally. Playing cards, telling stories and drinking a little too much. She said some of them didn't feel so good this morning, but she said it was wonderful. I know the boys took the Uncles out fishing today - so they must be having good weather.

I asked her about the services and why they didn't have the memorial service this week while they were all down there. According to the Catholic church you have to have a funeral first before you can have a memorial service. So the funeral is tentatively set now for May 5th at Holy Cross because it takes 7-10 days for cremation and they don't want to rush it or rush coming home for the 1st. So Tonya, and Susan I believe she said are going to work with Aunt Joy on getting the arrangements set up. It is a very hard process to go through.

Tonya said they are starting to leave tomorrow some of them, I know the 4 brothers come back tomorrow afternoon - I am sure dad is exhausted but I am sure he is grateful that he went down there. I think it is so neat that the four of them were able to make this trip and that they were able to be there for Aunt Bernie and the kids and be able to share laughter and tears with them all. Like Tonya said - we have such a WONDERFUL family and it's times like these that you really appreciate them and need them the most.

Have a safe trip all of you travelers tomorrow - hopefully dad's plane won't be delayed this time around

P.S. - There are pictures at the bottom of this page of our belated Easter celebration - Chaotic as always :)

Much love to all,

God Saw You

God saw you getting tired
When a cure was not to be
So he wrapped his arms around you,
and whispered,"Come to me."
You didn't deserve what you went through,
So he gave you rest.
God's garden must be beautiful,
He only takes the best.
And when I saw you sleeping,
So peaceful and free from pain
I could not wish you back
To suffer that again.
Author Unknown

*********
Much comfort and love to Aunt Bernie and the family. I know this is a very difficult time, but just know that he is with God now and his mom and dad - he is home again, looking down on everyone and wondering what the big fuss is about. I will miss him dearly......

Mass is scheduled tentatively for May 1st at Holy Cross - more details to follow as I get them.

Much love to all,

He went home...

Uncle Wally passed away this morning - he isn't suffering anymore and he is in a better place. But it doesn't make it any easier or ease the suffering of those left behind. There are never the correct or right words to comfort someone in this pain. But we know someday we will find happiness again.

Dad and his brothers made it to Florida, but they didn't get in until 1:30 and had an hour drive, they never made it to see Uncle Wally. They are on their way now..

More later.

Much love to all,

On his way....

Dad is on his way along with his brothers to go down and see Uncle Wally. He is feeling good physically hopefully he will do okay mentally. Aside from him having cancer - I know it is hard to go and say goodbye - especially to your brother. Uncle Wally is on his journey home - the hospice nurse said he probably will not make it another 24 hours. She told Tonya that she could tell that he was holding on to something, he was waiting for someone or something - even though he is in coma, he knows his brothers are on their way and maybe that is what he is holding on to. I know for them and for everyone down there, it is a difficult trip to make.

It is great to know though that all nine kids are down there with Aunt Bernie and Uncle Wally and even Mindy and Jeremy (Lisa's oldest) were able to make it there too. It's just a matter of time, but they have each other and they will have the four Uncles that they can lean on. It is amazing how fast this has all gone - and very sad. We haven't had anyone in our family pass away for a while - it is very sad for the whole Timmerding clan.

My prayers and thoughts are with Tonya and her whole family as they go through this journey. They know he is going to a better place but it doesn't make it any easier and it doesn't lessen the pain.

Much love to all,

Prayer

Please keep in your prayers and thoughts today for Uncle Wally. They are moving him to hospice this afternoon. All of the kids plan on being down there by Monday. It is a difficult time for the family - please let them find comfort in knowing that he is being taken care of and that God is always with them.

I will post later this evening....

Much love to all,

Bitter Sweet

The boys and I hung out with mom and dad today and it was a great day - dad was feeling great - we went to three different stores and he didn't like any of the grills, then Brayden wanted to eat lunch with Grandma and Grandpa so we picked up Frischs (Brayden's choice) and went back to their house and had a picnic. Dad felt great the whole day - he even began cutting the grass while we were still there. Mind you him and his neighbor ride on a riding mower - they seem to take turns but dad was out there. I know within the last two days he has lowered his pain medicine which is great news to hear - so the nerve killing procedure must of worked. We will see how he is tomorrow after doing so much today.

It is sad and hard to be happy that dad had such a great day when Uncle Wally isn't doing well at all. They said he is likely to fall into a coma soon and it just breaks my heart that this happening all so fast. I pray that everyone will be able to get to see him one more time if this is the end - BUT I continue to pray for miracles that it isn't - that he will bounce right back. I know it's hard for them not being down there with them, but I know they are all making their trips again. Tonya said the plan was not to leave her mom alone anymore - Aunt Bernie is a saint for doing this all by herself but she needs support.

Dad is still wanting to go down - I just worry as I know my sisters are that this might mess dad up mentally in seeing Uncle Wally - I know he will have the support of his brothers but I still worry.... BUT he wants to go down and I don't want him to have any regrets of not going. I pray that Uncle Wally is able to be present while they are there.

Congratulations to Ryan and Emily on their wedding day tomorrow - (Theresa's oldest son) - what a beautiful day you will have!

Continue to pray for Uncle Wally especially and his family - in that they find some type of comfort in this time.

Much love to all,

Dad had a little drainage from his stomach this morning and blood drawn just for tests - everything went well. Mom said he slept pretty much the whole afternoon - the last two days I am sure have worn him out and still recovery from being in the hospital this past weekend. His stomach is bothering him a little but the doctor who did the procedure yesterday said he would be sore for a bit. He still has his clot but the doctor said the blood thinner really won't stop working until after a month - so hopefully he will stop having the horrible pain he has been having.

He is on a mission to find a grill - he is still into the charcoal grills because of the tastes he says. So I am taking him shopping tomorrow to find one - he said he saw one on-line that he liked at Sams' - so we are heading there first. Of course when he gets something in his head he wants, we aren't going to stop until he finds it. We are celebrating our Easter this weekend on saturday - it will be so great to have everyone together - it is getting into the crazy time of the year with everyone's kids playing sports and graduations and babies and weddings - it is usually hard this time of the year for everyone to be at mom and dad's at one times - but we still all try to make it over, especially our Sunday dinners - it's a free home cooked meal :)

I don't know if any of you watch American Idol but on the British Version of it, here is a clip of a lady that has an amazing voice. On first impression everyone was laughing and not giving her a chance and it just goes to show you to not always go by the outside of a person, because they can be just as beautiful if not more beautiful on the inside - don't ever judge the book by it's cover.

Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=related

****************************

We went to the zoo today and just wanted to share pictures - the one is of me and the boys and the other one is of the beautiful tulips that are all over the zoo - amazing sea of colors - absolutely beautiful.... The picture doesn't do it justice.....

MUCH LOVE TO ALL,

It went well

Dad had his procedure done today - I am so stupid - I didn't know exactly what the procedure was for so I typed it in wrong last night. His procedure was to block nerves - basically kill nerves around his pancreas to help relieve his pain. The doctors said that they would normally have to do this anyway for cancer patients to help them live with the pain, but they did it sooner than normal on dad.

It was only suppose to be an hour and a half procedure but we were there for six hours. They were behind schedule waiting on a doctor of course and then he had to get fluids which took another two hours. It was a long day. And poor dad was starving since he hasn't eaten since last night. He is so excited about this procedure in that I hope his hopes aren't up too high in case it doesn't work. He just feels like this will help with the pain and that he will be able to live a better life. He actually drank a diet coke yesterday and that is the first time since Christmas that he has had anything but water. Not that he needs a diet coke, he needs protein and calorie builders, but he doesn't like the taste of them.

Tomorrow he goes for a blood draw and to get a little drainage taken out of his stomach. He doesn't have a whole lot, but they want to drain some and check to see if he has any infections. They don't think he does because normally with infections you get a fever and aches and he hasn't any of that. So one more day there and hopefully he can rest before his trip on Sunday.

Theresa started her own blog -Here is the link to their website - she just found it easier to do it herself - (maybe she didn't like my typing :) LOL ) - So now there are two websites to read.....

http://aprayerfordad.blogspot.com

Much love to all,

It's a good day...

I just got off the phone and he said it was a good day - he sounds much, much better than he has been. He has been shopping for a grill all morning so he must be filling better :). His nerve blockage procedure is tomorrow at 12:30 - and it is an outpatient procedure. So hopefully when they unblock this nerve that he will not have any more pain and he will be able to continue to feel better.

As of today he is still planning on going on Sunday with the rest of his brothers to go see Uncle Wally - it just makes me nervous because of the pain and the way it suddenly comes up, but I know he wants to make the trip.

Something to think about :
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

Much love to all,

He is home....

Dad is home! - His pain had been managed and he isn't doing any tests until Wednesday so he asked if he could come home which I don't blame him. He seems fine today - good spirits. On Wednesday he is going to have a nerve blockage procedure done - which is an outpatient procedure and then on Thursday he is going to have fluid taken out of his stomach - hopefully with these two procedures done it will take care of the pain problem - but we won't know until they are done.

He isn't in pain - he says it is manageable - he is just glad to be home and out of the hospital - which I know after three days anyone would be ready to come home. So now we wait again - until Wednesday for the next procedure. He is hoping this works because he is thinking that if it does he may even be able to drink a beer :)

Much love to all,

The side effects..

Oh what a day! I went and saw dad today and I was the first one there - I didn't get there until about noon - everyone had gone to church and did different things - as I was driving up I felt horrible that dad had been by himself all morning, but I had called Jeremy and he said that dad had been sleeping when he talked to him earlier so it was good for him to get some rest. When I got there he was dozing in and out and I could tell he wasn't with it - too much medicine can you take you to a whole other place and I knew he was there and not really here - you know.

So I gave him a kiss and hug and just started talking to him and he sat up and I looked at him and he was crying - big tears and I kept asking him if he was in pain, he said no and he said he didn't know why he was crying and I just kept telling him it was a side effect of all the medicine, being stuck in a hospital for two days, not being able to be by a window so you never know if it is night or day, not sleeping - many reasons, and he just kept crying and then he started saying "I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to be a burden to mom and to you kids" and as he was saying this and I was biting my tongue from crying I just kept reassuring him that he was fine - you are physically fine dad, just this cancer, and you are upset and depressed because you are stuck in this place for days, won't see a doctor until tomorrow, you are so tired and drugged up that you are in a whole different world right now - you are fine.

He was fine after about 10minutes and I think it was that he finally snapped out of the "drug coma" or la la land that he was in and he was okay. I had to leave the room for a moment and catch my breath - that was so difficult to go through. We have noticed that dad isn't his normal flirty self this time around and I know there are a lot of factors to that - so hopefully when he sees the doctors tomorrow and starts getting some answers he will come back. Being stuck in a hospital for a weekend is no fun because there is no one working, so you are just waiting until Monday comes around to get answers. By the time I had left the hospital, he was up and talking normal and feeling great. I don't even know if he remembers that episode he had with me or not - I know he doesn't remember Jen calling him in the morning because he was in that La La Land.

But tomorrow is another day - tomorrow we will get answers and have tests run and hopefully he will be able to come home by Tuesday. I will keep everyone updated as we find out what is going on.

Much love to all,

Happy Easter

From our family to everyone:

Have a great and blessed Easter. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. Enjoy the beautiful day with family and friends.

Much love to all,

Today's Update

Dad is hanging in there. He didn't sleep much last night and is still in pain. It seems to get worse after he eats - Dr. Draper thinks there might be a nerve blockage - the GI doctor is coming in on Monday to run tests - so dad had to sit there today and tomorrow and have no tests done. Kind of stinks. He has an unruly roommate - one that should be in his room by himself, the man (not dad) just isn't all there - and just needs to be by himself. I think it's unfair that hospitals do that - it is bad enough to room with someone but to have to room with someone that is just out of control is too much.

I left dad around 2:30 because he was dozing in and out and I know he tries to stay awake for anyone that is there to keep them company, so I left and took mom with me. Jeremy was taking mom back when he had an accident at his house with a razor blade before he left - so he wound up going to St. Elizabeth ER and got 4 stitches in his finger while mom and Mindy were waiting in the waiting room - and they are on their way now. Like we didn't have enough going on Jert! I feel bad that dad was alone from 2:30 on BUT hopefully he got some sleep - I know he was planning on watching the Masters so I hope he was able to do that too. No one likes to be in the hospital alone - yuck.

I know we are all planning our trips up there tomorrow. Not a good way to spend Easter, but at least they are going to keep him there until they find out what is wrong. So no tests until Monday, just waiting around - aren't we always......

*** Per Dad's wishes: He would like NO VISITORS at the hospital*** You know how it is when you aren't feeling well you don't want anyone to see you and you don't want to feel like you have to entertain. I will update as things change.

Much love to all,

The pain is back....

I had just gotten off the phone with mom at 7:00 and she said everything was okay. Sean called me at 9:45 and said that dad was in so much pain again that he was doubled over in tears. Sean took them over to the ER at the VA Hospital - luckily this time his doctor, Dr.Draper was on call - they did a ct scan and sent it over to UC for the results - it came back fine, nothing unusual that would be causing the pain. So today they are running more tests, having more specialists come in to see what is going on. We know it has to be something with the chemo because it seems like after he gets the chemo then this pain comes a couple days later.

Last time they sent him home with manageable pain, but Dr. Draper said he is not sending dad home until we find the cause of the pain. Which is great so we don't keep going back and forth. So dad is going to be in the hospital at least until Monday, maybe Tuesday. Not a good way to spend Easter - but we will postpone our Easter until he comes home, because it wouldn't be the same without him there.

So needless to say none of us, well I know I didn't sleep well last night, you just never feel right when someone you love is in the hospital for pain reasons - thoughts and thoughts are always in your mind and you just can't shut them off to sleep. I know Sean and mom didn't get home until 3:30 this morning.

I am heading over there in a few - I will update later this afternoon when I find out more.

Much love to all,

Tired

I talked to mom today, she said dad slept all day and he isn't feeling well at all. I am sure it is the after effect of the chemo yesterday but we just can't get two good days in a row. It seems like when we have one good day we have 6 bad days - I just wish it was the other way around. No one likes to feel yucky and miserable. It was a good day to sleep with the rain and storms, but I just hope he gets better by Sunday so his Easter won't be miserable - that will not be fun for anyone.

Tomorrow we all go to mom's and color eggs - I don't know when this tradition started either, but for years at least all of us girls take our kids over to mom and dad's and color eggs and have our own little happy hour - it's just another one of those tradition things we do. I know we have way too much family time - but when it comes to it, can you ever be around your family too much - well, um can you ever be around your family too much and be sober :)..... LOL

Much love to all,

Good Day....

Dad got into the car this morning and he said it was a good day. He looked good, he acted great. I know the other day he wasn't feeling too well and he told mom he thought it was starting to feel like he did last week before we had to take him to the hospital. But he was able to get the pain under control and he felt good today.

Mom and I love Dr.Draper - he is so upbeat and HONEST and just optimistic. He was upset with the medical team from last week when we were in the hospital - he said they should of done a scan and the cancer couldn't of been the complete cause of dad's pain because the pancreas is up from the stomach and dad was having all of his pain in his stomach. So he thinks it was just a combination of the dehydration, constipation and the blood clot that we are fighting. It seems the majority of dad's pain is from everything else but the cancer.

He also told us that when we are ready for hospice he will let us know, but he said we aren't ready - we are still good candidates for aggressive treatments. Dad is taking a pill - I forget the name (I'll get it from mom) but he is taking it along with chemo. The pill is suppose to basically have a direct hit as you may say on the cancer whereas chemo goes throughout your whole body. So we will see how it goes. Dad did gain weight (yea) and he is optimistic about going on his trip with his brothers next weekend. So hopefully we can continue on this good path. Of course, you know dad still making his death jokes and teasing mom as always - I know he is feeling well when he is doing that :)

Much love to all,

Be Still...

I read this tonight in my devotion book:

"Their strength is to sit still" (Isaiah 30:7)

We all have crisises in our lives, we have anxieites and a sense of immediate action to do something or have something done is always overwhelming. Yet a lot of the times the circumstances will not allow us to do anything - it is out of our hands. When we are in that dark place, that turmoil we need to remember to "Be Still, and know that I am God" (Ps 46:10) Sometimes you will have to force yourself to be still and to have your troubles be turned over to God. It isn't easy, alot of the times we want answers know, we want solutions to our problems immediately.

Be Still and let God take our troubles. Only he knows what is ahead - let him help dad and Uncle Wally and our families, allow him to guide us and to be with us all as we go through this turmoil and troubled times. Allow him to take care of our conflicts and turmoils that we each may be dealing with on our own. Allow him to give us the strength to survive this and to feel his love.
******
Mom and dad meet with hospice yesterday - not for them to start coming in but to get it ready if it is ever needed. Amy was there and she said it seems like a weight has been lifted off of dad's shoulders. He wanted to make sure everything was taken care of before.... and now that it is he said he can continue on living. We hope for a long, long time.

Much love to all,

Meet Logan

I haven't talked to mom/dad today - I know they were meeting with hospice this afternoon - NOT to have them come in or anything but just to get the paperwork ready and done. It is nice because the lady coming in is a friend of Amy's - so when the time comes that will make it nice.

Tonya sent me this link to the video - it will make you cry. What honesty a small child has - too bad not alot of adults see it this way....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0r_FbARIn8

Much love to all,

Pictures....

Dad is doing well today - his pain medicine seems to be lasting longer - it is a quiet Sunday - just Sean and I are here - so it's good every once in a while to have the quietness - it was a beautiful day and now more SNOW, can you believe that more snow! Yuck. I am working with Tonya to get Uncle Wally and dad hooked up via webcam - so they can talk. Hopefully we can get that done soon. I don't know if dad will be able to make the trip or not so at least via webcam they can talk and see each other. Dad has doctor and chemo this week - so hopefully we have a better week than we did last week. We are so glad it is OVER!....

On a lighter note here are some pictures of the kids with Kali - they love her to death - Lydia is practicing being a big sister and Brayden and Olivia love babies. It's like when Jeremy and Mindy come in we have to have a sign up sheet of who gets to hold the new baby :)

Brayden and Lydia with Kali....

The three girls

Lydia, Olivia &

Kali

Dad is doing okay - still in pain but not as bad. Deacon Bob came up today and visited with him and gave him communion - Aunt Rita also stopped in - mom said he is eating good but then again after he eats he is feeling bad. It's all a game and a balancing act of the meds and the foods and what will work and don't work. It can be exhausting. I know after the scare this week, they as long as us have been getting things ready - as hard as it is and as painful it is, he just wants to make sure everything is taken care of.

On a lighter note, I found this quote by Erma Bombeck - mom has always liked her and I laughed when I read this, because we have one box that we pass around in our family especially at Christmas time - it has become such a joke now, that we don't care what the present is, we just want to be that lucky one to get that box.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

Also wanted to say CONGRATS to my nephew Case (Jen's oldest) he was accepted and is going to Notre Dame College - he has worked so hard and he has always wanted to go there. We are very proud of him, now Jen and Bill just have to find that big money tree out back to hit a few thousand times - WOW - is college expensive, especially that one. I just can't believe he is graduating this year - time flies by so quickly.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoys the weather and hopefully gets to some Easter egg hunts.

Much love to all,

He is home....

Yeah - He is home. The doctors just upped his pain medicine and hopefully that will make him at least comfortable. But before we left we of course had to go through the DNR again and talk about hospice - we aren't ready for them to come in but we need to get it all set up, I suppose. They said the thought the pain was just a combination of the chemo, constipation, and being dehydrated and the fact that this is a very painful cancer.

Dad seemed okay - he had just taken some pain medicine before I left- I am sure he will be napping soon, because you know besides being in so much pain you never get that much sleep in hospitals anyway. So hopefully he will get much needed rest.

It was a very scary and horrible experience. We all know he is sick and we understand that he isn't going to be around forever, none of us are but we aren't ready for it yet and seeing him Tuesday I thought that was it. So we learned and we also already knew that each day we have is such a precious gift and you need to live it to the fullest and appreciate it. Do not take it for granted because it can be gone in a second. I know we shedded a lot of tears these past two days and were very scared - I know he was too.

Thank you to everyone though for all of your prayers and love - it helps us tremendously.

Much love to all,

Final Update for Today...

Dad is doing a bit better. He ate very well today and he wasn't having too much pain afterwards when he ate like he normally does. Certain foods still give him problems like he had a frosty today from Wendy's and he only ate half of it, and he said it was messing him up. The game plan is tomorrow the doctors are going to be in around 10ish or so and they are going to take him off of his pain drip. They are then going to give him pain medicine orally and if that seems to control the pain then he'll be able to come home, but if what they prescribe him doesn't seem to help he'll probably have to stay another night.

They said this pain is just because of the cancer. It is the most painful cancer out there and there is no rhyme or reason of when the pain is going to come and their main goal is to do their best to control the pain so we can have some good days. It has just been tough because when you are in this situation and you are in the hospital they start asking about the DNR and if you have one and what are your wishes and it just really, excuse my language, but it just really SUCKS to talk about and to hear your father's wishes regarding that you know.

I know we all feel a bit better after today in that we saw him getting some relief from his pain, even if it was a couple of hours. Seeing him yesterday was a horrible nightmare and I don't wish that on even my worst enemy. If he was to continue to be in that much pain I would of rather God just go ahead and call him home, because there is nothing worse, nothing worse than seeing him suffer the way he did and not be able to do anything about it.

I will give an update tomorrow as soon as I can on what the doctors say and how he is doing. But just know dad, even in all of his pain, is still the charmer and flirt he has always been. The nurses LOVE him - as well as everyone else!

Much love to all,

Update on Uncle Wally

An update on my dad…..

Karen and I had a good trip to see mom and dad last week. The weather was great…and that makes things soo much better, just to be able to go outside to the Florida sunshine!

Dad has his good days and his bad days. The pain, exhaustion, and nausea are always there, in some way! Some days it hits all at once and he seems soo frail on those days! But for every few bad days, he gets a good day…or should I say a GREAT day, because that’s what they truly are! Well, apparently, he had a GREAT day on Monday – after we left - go figure!! Monday he had to go to the doctor, so while they were out and feeling good, dad decided to get his haircut and then shop for some new pj’s to go with his new electric recliner we helped him get while we were there! And as if that wasn’t enough, they made one more stop on the way at the car dealership to purchase a convertible!!! Dad has been wanting a convertible, so they figured why not? I guess he shouldn’t have gotten his hair cut, because there’s nothing like letting the wind blow through your hair in a convertible – right??? It makes me chuckle with joy picturing them in a red convertible!!! I love it!

The boys are traveling down today, all three of them! I know that will bring soo much happiness to my dad, having all three of his boys there together!

I heard my dad telling a doctor during my visit in February that he was trying to live each day to the fullest. I know that it is a very difficult thing to do when you feel crappy, but he is trying to make the most of his good days. My mom is a saint and is doing an awesome job of taking care of him! After almost fifty years of marriage (June 20th will be their 50th anniversary!), she still beckons to his every call! Dad says she needs a hearing aid, but she still beckons!! I know that I can speak for all of my siblings when I say that they are awesome role models to all of us!! Thank you mom and dad for everything that you have done for us! We love you both very much!! Hang in there and keep living it up!! We all know that you deserve the best!!!

Love,

Turtle

Update...

Dad is going to be in the hospital overnight - they are still trying to manage his pain. It seems to be a bit better but not much. I am scared of what were to happen if they released him because we won't be able to manage his pain at home. So he is in there for the night - he wanted me to run home to set his DVR for he can't miss Lost :) - even though he said it drives him crazy but he still loves the show.

We are trying to get them to do another CT scan on him, but the doctors are saying things shouldn't of changed within 10days since he just had one. I know the doctors are doing their best, but it isn't his oncology doctor - these are just the residents that do rotations between two different hospitals. There has to be a reason that this extreme pain came on all of a sudden, it can't be the tumor moving because I didn't know tumors could move and if it is the cancer causing the pain, then why didn't cause him this much pain from the beginning? That is the most frustrating part is hearing they don't have answers or they can't explain it - but it has to be something.

He unfortunately got a roommate today too - I don't understand why hospitals make you room with someone - it is hard enough to get along with your own family, but to be put in a room with another family - ugh! Of course the one that came in, the daughter is loud and bubbly and dad can't saying he couldn't hit his pain medicine quick enough - it is going to be a long night for him.

I'll update more later - but for now, he is another night and they are just trying to control his pain.

Much love to all,

No visitors

Dad would no like visitors today at the hospital until we find out what is going on. Hopefully he will only be there today - but I will keep everyone updated.

Much love to all,