Happy Happy Birthday

to my sweet little Logan. You aren't so little anymore, are you? You are full of energy all of the time, you are 100% boy. You can be rough and tumbling the one minute, then the next minute you are the sweetest little thing ever. All of your friends at school, love you, especially the girls. You are a ladies man. You tell me every day about your four girlfriends and how you are going to marry them :)

You so much want to be like Brayden in everything he does or has. You can't quite grasp the concept that he is a bit older and he will be able to do or get things that you don't - your answer to anything he has that you don't, is "Life isn't fair". You two are brothers - you get along one minute and the next minute you are taking him down, that is right you are taking him down. You are a strong little guy!

You love to draw and color, you LOVE to help your daddy in everything he does, and I mean everything. You love to work and you work hard, you are not afraid to get dirty and you love just to always be doing something.

You are the Timmerding clone - you are just like your Grandpa and your Uncles. Stubborn, yet cute and charming.

I tell you everyday I don't want you to get any older, that you have to stop growing up now. You tell me "Mom, as long as I am not a dad yet, I will always be your little baby"... :(

Logan, you melt my heart! Sorry I have to work today, but I know you will have a great day with your daddy and Brayden. I love you sooooooooooo much buddy!!!!

Miss and love you dad ~ so much.

Much love and happiness to all!

Not Even On My Worse Enemies...

would I wish the grief and sadness that Newtown, CT is dealing with onto. We all have our "enemies" per say don't we. People we don't like and they don't like you for whatever reason. Your paths have crossed one time and for a while may have been a jolly path but for whatever reason, the path took a turn and it is just better not to have those people in your life anymore. Whatever the reason may be that you have "enemies", I know for myself, I would NEVER wish any harm on them or have them go through what those parents on CT are going through.

The death of a child, just the thought of it is heart wrenching, and to live through it and having to "go on" is unthinkable. I pray every night/day that those families find some type of peace in their lives and this Christmas - it will be a difficult one, but hopefully they will be able to find an ounce of peace.

Anderson Cooper - I love him! I was watching him last night and he was talking about how he went and visited with the families, how he heard stories and met with aunts and uncles, cousins, sisters and brothers with the little ones who were lost. He then made a statement which I totally fell in love with him even more: "He said we are not going to talk about the killer, he doesn't deserve it, I am not even going to say his name, but we do need to talk about the killings and crime scene and why it may have happened." He then continued on with the conversation and the whole time he didn't even once mention the killers name. Bravo, Anderson Cooper, Bravo!

The media is making this killer into a celebrity and giving him what he possibly wanted. Just the mention of his name is way too much. We need to focus on those 26 angels. The 20 little ones that won't be around Christmas morning to open presents up, to laugh and be excited to get the gift that they really asked for and wanted from Santa. The teachers who had little ones/grandchildren, the families that are torn in two as they look at the untouched presents under the tree. We can only pray that God will give you solace and peace in this time of need. Don't blame God, it wasn't him who did this. This is Satan's work, don't let him win.

Not even on my worse enemies would I wish this upon you.....

Miss and love you dad ~ so much.

Much love and happiness to all!

Little Angels....

there aren't words to describe the heartache I felt hearing about Friday's shooting. I know I didn't know anyone personally, no connections up there or anything, but as I heard the news, my heart broke. On my way home from work, I couldn't stop listening to the news and I cried all the way home. Those poor families, the poor little children that passed away, I just can't even imagine. Maybe it harder at home for me because of Logan being almost 5 (in 10 days), and I couldn't help but picturing Brayden's class and Logan's class and what it was like. I need to get the images out of my head - it is just a horrific thing to conceive and to even notion.

I only had the news on for a brief moment on Friday evening. I didn't want my kids to hear about it or know about it, especially Logan. I didn't want to take his innocence away from him. We talked to Brayden last night without going into any details, just saying there are bad people in this world and something bad happened in CT. We prayed for those little children, for their families and for the whole community Newton.

How can I explain to the boys why it happened, when I don't even know why it happened? How can I tell them for 100% certainity that they are safe at school, when I don't believe that they are. I am sure the families in Newton thought they had a safe school too. I know this is a "rare" incident as some may say, but so was the shooting in the movie theatre, and so was the shooting at the mall. I don't know the answer in any of this. The world is such a different place. When we were growing up we didn't have to worry about any of this, we didn't have lockdown drills, and we didn't have 6-7 year olds being shot to death as they were learning their ABC's.

F.A.I.T.H - it steps in here. It helps heal the wounded, it helps us find some kind of sense to this, even though there isn't much, but God, he welcomed those sweet little angels into his arm, he embraced them and told them it was okay. They are in a much better place, they are with their Father. And I am sure that dad and all other loved ones are making sure those little angels are comforted.

There is not much sense to Friday's tragedy. It is becoming unfortunately a common occurrence anymore. Hug your little ones, hug them tightly, tell them you love them every single moring, every single day, let the laundry go to play a game with them, let the dishes go to read a book to them, let the cleaning go one more hour to cuddle up with them and listen to them talk. Our children.... well our children, are our lives - they are our innocence.

May God bless the people of Newton CT, may you find peace and comfort knowing your children are with Jesus, that he embraced them with open arms, that they are in a better place.

~~~
Miss and love you dad ~ so much.

Much love and happiness to all,

Reminder

that life here on earth can end in an instance, we are just here until God calls us home. We are all on borrowed time. You go about your lives like you have forever and then bam, you are reminded it could end. One of mom's cousins passed away on Sunday - he was only 50 years old, 50! -  My gosh how young and how tragic. It just happened... I pray for his wife and his boys and the rest of the family that they will find the peace to get through this and to get through the holiday season. I have no doubt in my mind that dad greeted him with a big smile and was handing him a beer.

~~~
So our annual Timmerding Christmas party was this past weekend - what a great time as always and as always it went by way too fast and I didn't get to talk to as many people as I wanted to. And the kids, oh my so many..many..kids. This was probably the first time in a long time I can honestly say there were one or two kids I didn't know who they were. THANK YOU to Aunt Mindy who painted some faces. I think she sat down to paint one of her girls' faces and then before she knew it a lined had formed :) But she did a great job, just look at Logan. He was so excited, he growled the whole way home and he did not want to take a bath. He LOVED it.

I hope everyone is doing well and is enjoying this holiday season. It can always get so crazy with the shopping and parties that we forget what it is really about and we are stressed to the max. Take the time to spend time thanking God for what he gave us, for your blessings and please take the time to spend with your loved ones. As we know, we are not guaranteed tomorrow, we are not even guaranteed today!

Miss and love you dad ~ so much.

Much love and happiness to all,

Many, Many Birthdays

so the birthday frenzy has begun. For our family it starts in September with Lisa and then every month we have at least two birthdays if not more - it is birthday frenzy on top of Christmas - Yeah!... Not being sarcastic just a very busy time for all of us.

So excited to see Notre Dame going to the Bowl Game in Miami. Case gets tickets, don't know how many but it seems like I am low on the todem pole with poor Olivia, girlfriends and roommates are coming first - Boo!!!! But I know Jen and Bill are going, maybe I'll just go down to party with them. What an exciting Senior Year Case is having - he is having a college life he will never forget - so jealous!

What to send out special prayers to Uncle Mike and a co-worker Shelley who is in the midst of battling that demon CANCER - I just hate that word and I hate what it is. Just please keep them in your prayers to find the strength and the faith to fight it - it will not defeat them, I know and believe they will both come on top and be the victors. Much love to you both and to everyone who is in the midst of their own personal battles, especially with that ugly demon.

I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry the posts are few and far between for the two of you that read this :)... Just busy at work and at home and I actually don't get on the computer that much anymore at home - just too busy doing other things and preparing for the holidays.

Enjoy this unseasonably warm weather we are having - I hope this is what our winter is - Yeah Right!

Happy Tuesday!

Miss and love you dad ~ so much.

Much love and happiness to all,

Believing

so this is the year - this is the year that Steve and I think that Brayden is going to figure it out. Is he going to ask the question or do we just tell him? We don't want him to be made fun of in school and go through the ridicule of still "believing" - he already has huge social anxiety and this would just hurt him more.

But I don't want him to stop "believing". In stopping that little bit of excitment and magic is gone come Christmas morning - I know as kids when we all stopped believing it was still a lot of fun and laughs and we never lost that but the magic was gone....

Why can't they stop growing up? :(

So we wait and ask for opinions - do we tell him or do we wait for him to ask us?

Miss and love you dad ~ so much.

Much love and happiness to all,

3:00am

oh 3:00am - how I am starting to despise you. It seems like you are the magic hour that I wake up every night, no matter what time I go to bed. Whether it is to go to the restroom or whether it is just because you hate me so. I get up move out of my bed because by this time Logan is in there as well as Steve and I don't want to wake them with my tossing and turning of trying to get back to sleep after you wake me so rudely.

I will finally fall asleep about an hour later for a whole hour because 5:00am comes early in our house :)......

I have been thinking about Dad a lot lately, maybe because of the holidays, maybe because yesterday was mom and dad's wedding anniversary, maybe I am just missing him more than normal, maybe he is trying to talk to me but I know this isn't the reason that 3:00 am every night for at least the past month or so I have been waking up and no I am not pregnant!

I guess this is why they invented caffeine LOL

I hope everyone is doing well and survived Thanksgiving. It was weird this year only staying at mom's and not going to Steve's families. We normally have to hit both houses which is fun and exhausting at the same time, but Steve's mom had to work and she will probably have to work Christmas too - Boo.... but we will celebrate another day. Steve and I laugh because this would have solved our problem for the past 20 years of whose house we go to first, who we eating dinner with etc...

It is hard to believe Christmas is even here - just seems like yesterday we were celebrating 4th of July and now it is time for the cold and snow but it is also my favorite time of the year. I love the decorations, the baking of cookies, the christmas tree with way too many ornaments, the lights outside, the warmth and friendliness that you feel from people well most people!

It is a great time of the year, but let's also remember the reason we are celebrating it :)

Happy Wednesday!

Miss and love you dad ~ so much.

Much love and happiness to all

The Knots Prayer

Dear God,Please untie the knots in my mind,
my heart and my life.

Remove the have nots,
the can nots, and the do nots
that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,
may nots,
might nots that may find
a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,
would nots and
should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all,
Dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind,
my heart and my life all of the “am nots”
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought that
I am not good enough.

Amen

(Author unknown)

For those of us having a hard time to get back into the swing of things this Monday morning after a holiday - Blah

Thankful Heart

So this is the week we give thanks, give thanks for what is on lives, thanks to a higher being, thanks for whatever you may be thankful. So I thought I would take the time and write a few things I am thankful for - in no particular order:

- I am thankful for an ever-forgiving God. I haven't been the perfect being by any means and knowing that he has given me forgiveness - it just, it is more than words can describe

- I am thankful for having a strong mom - I know loosing dad has just been as hard on her as it has been on all of us. She is living her life to the fullest, with the grandkids and her friends and family. I am thankful that she is always there for us and that she takes the time with each grandchild to make them each feel special in their own way

- I am thankful for Steve and the boys - I don't know where I would be without you guys. Yes, it is a house full of farts and burps, which for some reason, all three of you find hysterical, but I wouldn't want to have it any other way - you guys are my life, and my love for you is beyond this world.

- I am thankful for my brothers and sisters and their spouses - we have so much fun together. I know if I am ever down or feeling blah, one of you will make me relax and enjoy life. You guys are the best.

- I am thankful for our Sunday dinners - I know it started a long time ago and I am grateful each and every week that we continue this tradition. Yes, there are times where it is just so crazy and loud, especially in the winter time when we are all there - but I wouldn't change it for the world.

- I am thankful for having a beautiful home and being able to put food on the table

- I am thankful for my job - even though there are days where I just despise it, and maybe in the near future there will be a career change, but I know I am blessed to even have one, so for that I am eternally grateful.

- I am grateful for all of my friends. My friends from my very first job, to the friends at this job, to my high school friends who I have rekindled a friendship with, to my dearest and oldest friends from high school - we have all been through a lot but through it all we are still standing and still friends - for that I am thankful.

- I am thankful for my health and just for being happy and being blessed.

- I am grateful for this blog. It started out as a way of communicating with the families about dad and his illness and it has become more than that for me. It is therapy in so many ways. And though many not read it, just being able to "write" is so enjoyable for me.


Every day is Thanksgiving, for every day we should be thankful for what we have in our lives, and i know with our busy lives sometimes it is hard to do that.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving - be blessed with the company and love of family and friends, be blessed with a great big turkey dinner and a warm house. And if you are one of the CRAZY people who go shopping the next day or even that night - be safe and may I just say " Are you Crazy" :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Miss and love you dad ~ so much!!!

Much love and happiness to all!

D.I.S.N.E.Y - Happiest Place on Earth

so we did it, once again we made the trip to DISNEY. I know, I know what you are thinking, there are other places in the world. Believe me, I know. Try convincing Steve, Brayden and Logan that - they are obsessed with DISNEY. Don't get me wrong, I always have a great time when we go and it is exhausting but I always say there are other places I'd like to see. Maybe one of these days, I'll get to go somewhere besides Florida.

So this time we decided to drive down - for various reasons: costs, wanting to try it, and wanted to be able to take things that we normally are not able to take on planes. We were trying to go as cheap as possible, and we did pretty good. We were down there from Thursday to Saturday - a long time I know, but if you are going to go, might as well go! Two of us were sick, Logan and I. I think I just had some type of food poison, but whatever it was, I have NEVER been that sick in my life. I passed out in the bathroom of the resort, big fat lip, bumped my head and a bruise the size of a football field on my thigh. Needless to say I didn't get out of bed for two days - which was okay, because the boys wanted to go swimming anyway.

After that little episode we were good to go, I never really felt 100% until Friday, but you are in Disney, there is no time to be sick, especially when you travel with Steve. We have an agenda that we MUST follow :)... If you don't like getting up at the crack of dawn and staying until it closes, then you would not like traveling with Steve to Disney LOL.

Here are some pictures from our trip - so much FUN, as always.

I hope everyone is doing well!!

 

 

 

Miss and love you dad ~ so much.

 

Much love and happiness to all!