Goodbye, Pond

Several years ago dad made a swimming pool - okay it really wasn't a swimming pool, it was a pond but it was big enough for a swimming pool. I remember when he was building it, we were all like nice hole in the yard dad and it was one of those projects where it was started and we never knew if it would get finished. Well he did finish it and each year it was looking better and better, with flowers, and fish swimming - the kids loved it. They knew going over to Grandpa's they got to feed the fish and watch them swim.

Dad decided about a week ago or so he didn't want the pond anymore,he wanted to fill it in. The boys came over today and they drained it and were moving the rocks away and I just felt sad watching them, because it was something dad had built and worked so hard on and within five hours, the boys had a lot of dismantled. The plan is to fill the hole and plant a garden there instead. We will see if that is a project that gets done :)

He hasn't had a good couple of days since probably Friday. He didn't go to the recital last night and he just feels blah today. He has been getting a lot of headaches, in a little pain and just feeling like shit as he always says. I left early tonight because I knew he wasn't feeling good and he kept holding his head. And as one that gets headaches all of the time and sometimes migraines, I know I don't want to be bothered or have any one around me. But I know the boys and Jen were still there - but hopefully he will be able to get some rest tonight. I guess I just assumed since he wasn't doing chemo that he would be feeling better and to me he seems to be feeling worse. At least that is what I see.


Here is one of my favorite quotes:
It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. (Alan Cohen)

I hope everyone has a good week.

Much love to all,