Emotional Night

you know how sometimes you just have a feeling that something isn't right. I had that feeling all day yesterday, not exactly sure why I just did. Dad - isnt' doing too well. Wednesday night he slipped and fell - thank goodness the boys were here to help him, yesterday the hospice nurse came in and ordered him a hospital bed and helped with his shower - he is just SO weak and not able to do anything without anyone's help.

He didn't eat last night when I was here and he just sat in his chair, not talking, I went ahead and left about 9:45 but that feeling was still knawing at me that something wasn't right. Jeremy called me at 11:15 and said to come back over because dad wanted everyone here. That was the longest 10minute drive of my life. When I came back into the house everyone that was here was crying and red-eyed, dad wanted everyone here because he wanted to say his goodbyes while he still could. He is just so tired and is so tired of being in so much pain - he just kept telling me that he was ready and he just wants it to be over. I told him as everyone else did that it is okay to go - those are hard words to say to the one you love but they need to know that it is okay so they'll let go.

He was telling me about the people he was seeing and about this beautiful place with nice big green trees and plants, and beautiful flowers and amazing waterfalls - and he said Michele it is just so peaceful! He said he was saying his mom and dad and wanted to talk to his mom and I told him that they were waiting for him - and they were preparing for his homecoming - it was going to be a big celebration when you meet them again.

We did call Father in and he did have his last rites. But it could be hours, it could be days, no one knows for sure, but we do know the journey home has begun. And as hard as it is going to be to let him go, we just all want him to be at peace and to be happy once again.

Yesterday was an ironic day in that for some reason - everyone wound up being here to see him, all the grandkids, and all of us kids with spouses - it was just ironic and I think dad knowing that he saw everyone one last time, decided he was ready.

I'll keep everyone posted as the day goes on.

Much love to all,