We all have

that one person or people in our lives that we feel like we can not live without. Whether it be a friend, a family member, your children, neighbors or what have you, you just can not imagine living life without that person. And whether by choices we make or by death that person may no longer be in your life - how does one go on? How do you live each day without those special people in your life?

One year ago this weekend we received the dreaded words " It is the beginning of the end" from Dr. Draper. And so our journey as family, extended family and friends really began. I remember memorial day weekend being very somber,  a lot of crying, a lot of eating, a lot of drinking, but not much laughter. I remember thinking how am I going to make it through this life without dad in it - he was the rock of our family, he was such a huge presence in everyone's lives.

And so here we are almost a year later and we have made it. It has been an extremely difficult year - we have each dealt with his death in our own way - and we continue to do so. But we have also managed to stay together as a family. Sometimes when a parent dies, the children do not get together as often anymore, it starts becoming less and less frequent visits, only seeing each other at holidays if that. But we have managed to keep our word to dad and to keep the Sunday dinners going, to keep loving each other and making sure the grandkids know him.

I still cry - whether they be sadness or of remembering happy times, I still do. I actually just did on Sunday at church. I saw a family with the parents, children and grandparents and I just thought how Logan and the ones younger than him are not going to know their grandpa. We will talk about dad and tell them what a wonderful man he was and how he is with us each and everyday, we will show them pictures and tell them many stories, but they will never feel his hugs, his kisses, they will never know his secret handshakes. But they will know how much each of them are loved by him and if they need anything they can talk to him.

It has been a difficult year and this will be a hard weekend, actually a hard couple of weeks. Because for me, this is when our real journey began as a family - it was the beginning of the end for us but for dad it was just the beginning of his journey home to God.

How do you live those days without those special people in your life? You remember the happy times, you cry a lot, you pray a lot and you just remember the love that you have for that person and that person had for you. And know that someday you will meet up again. You take each day as it comes and be blessed that you were one of the lucky ones to have that person in your life.

Miss and love you dad~ so much..................

Much love to all,