Already ready

for a drink and it is 9:00am. I didn't sleep at all last night, maybe an hour, just a lot on my mind and I didn't go down until late. It was one of those weeks and the beverages were good and going down fast - Logan has been up since 6:00am - he just isnt' my sleeper, never has been and Brayden has been up since 7:30 and of course we have had our fun battles this morning like families do.

Since I didn't sleep last night, I realized the only true constant thing in your life and the only true person that will love you no matter what is God. People come and go in your life, whether they pass away, whether they are friendships that just take a different road, or you have been hurt so deeply by them you can't have them in your life anymore, whether it is moving on to a new career and making new friends, or when your children start attending school, you make new "parent friends"... people come and go.  But through all your journey's in life God is always there, he is always there loving you. He gives you only what you can handle, sometimes it seems like it is the whole world crashing down on you and then sometimes it lightens up and it is the best it has ever been.

Still working on that latter part to happen - dad's death was a crushing blow to us and it has just been difficult months. Although we try hard, it is still hard to comprehend. Life is hard to comprehend and why things happen, death of someone so young,  friends who say they are your friends that in turn cause such heartache and sorrow its' hard to comprehend, girlfriends who deserve way better men than who they are with, but yet they make the best of it, why the earthquake in Haiti - why poverty, why war, the list can go on and on - the question always is WHY?

God will only give us what we can handle and some days you may feel like you are the strongest person in the world and other days you may feel defeated. You just don't know how much more you can take, just the pounding and pounding of what seems to be punishment just keeps coming. I have a friend at work who is going through so much right now and all I can do is listen and just keep reaffirming to her that God does love her and he is not punishing her, although she doesn't see that just yet. That with God - alll things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

( I saw snowflakes this morning - UGH!)

Miss and love you dad!

Much love to all,