it amazes me that one week ago is when everything changed - mom and I said today Wow, what a difference a week makes. we made that drive again today to the VA hospital and all the way over there I just kept thinking of the last time we were here and just had an overwhelming feeling of anger. We were going today to get his stomach drained with the hopes of relieving some of his pain - we got there and the doctor that was suppose to do the procedure said he wasn't going to do it - it is too dangerous and what he could take out wouldn't be enough to relief his pain - dad was disappointed.
we called dr.draper when we got home to make sure that we weren't going to need it done and he said that the doctor was right! Ugh!!!!! Dad isn't in too much pain today - he just feels groggy all of the time and he hates that - he said it's like he can hear people around him talking and he tries to join the conversation but he can't get his mind and words to work out at the same time - it is frustrating.
I know his sisters were up today and visiting and his brother and one nephew are coming up tomorrow. He had his friends group over last night and as I said last night he is the richest man in the world - he is loved by so many. Mom made the comment yesterday that she was tired of being dressed up all of the time and I told her "Mom, most of the people have seen you looking much worse" LOL.... She loves the visitors too because it actually helps - he perks up and is talking to everyone and it gives him energy - so we want them to keep on coming.
Today was my angry day - I have been fighting a migraine the past two days, and today I was just angry - with the world I suppose. I know it is part of life, I know there is a reason for everything, but I am just angry and just want to scream and yell and then I'll probably be okay at least for a bit. I think everyone is entitled to an angry day especially when they feel the world around them is crashing in.
I hope he doesn't mind but I received an email today from Matt Barkimer (Robin's husband) he is riding in a two day marathon to help raise money for cancer. Here is the link to his page: http://www.pelotonia.org/ride/riders_profile.jsp?MemberID=1263&RiderName=Matt%20Barkimer
It is amazing how many lives this Cancer touches - you would think with everyone in the world being effected by it that there is a cure out there some where, maybe Sean is right, maybe it is just all about the money and politics.
Hopefully I don't wake up tomorrow with this migraine and being so angry and mad - but then again, I am entitled.....
Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Much love to all,
Yes, Michele, you are!!! I've had a sad day today...and I feel I'm entitled to cry as much as I want sometimes!! Whatever it takes to get through! Your verse is right though, we can't depend on our own understanding!
ReplyDeleteI'll see ya soon!! Love ya!
Turtle
Michele, I hope your headache is better!
ReplyDeletePeace.
Love Sue
Yes, Michele I agree you are entitled. We all understand your anger. Hopefully God will bring peace to you,but not just yet. Your life has changed and is changing every day. That takes a lot to get used to. Prayers always. I am amazed at all of the friends and relatives I meet who are praying for your dad and all of you. Marie is saying a novena to St. Joseph. I am saying a novena to St. Ann, Jesus' grandmother. These are just a drop in the sea compared to all who are praying.
ReplyDeleteLove
Aunt Rita
Michele, the feelings we are going thru are all normal. I don't know which way i am going half the time. I am very angry and have such a short fuse all the time, i feel like i am one big open nerve. i go thru my daily routine and am either yelling or crying all the time. Life is NOT fair. This is NOT fair. We will get thru this together, as a FAMILY!! Thank GOD for the extended family and friends we have to help us cope with what is going on!
ReplyDeleteKeep the prayers coming,
Amy
It is ok to be angry...just don't let your anger override your joy and happiness of having one more day!!!
ReplyDeletefor all you people who have been here...I'm sure you got a good laugh when Michele said I was dressed up all the time. You are saying what? For me that is dressed up clothes with no holes, dirt or food on them and shoes on..a fashion statement waiting to happen!!!
ReplyDelete