is a book that has completely beginning to change my life. Aunt Toni was reading this book during the vigils at mom and dad's in July and I have just now got around to reading it. It is one of those books that you just can't put down. I am re-reading it for the second time and I am journaling all of these thoughts and sayings that are hitting me hard. It is just an amazing book and it is what I would love to believe and think that eternity is like.
The past couple of years I have been feeling a pulling to become closer to God - I have gone through alot in my life - most of it my doing, but there has always been this pulling. And it wasn't until dad got sick and passed away that I had to turn, completely turn to something higher than me to take care of me and help me through - life. This book is just - for me, an amazing read and came to me for a reason.
It is about a man who suffers a tragedy in his life and a couple of years later is summoned basically by God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It is his conversations with them that leads him out of the Great Sadness and to be able to live again. Each day I will write something or a phrase that has just hit me and share my thoughts, I guess kind of like a online book report :)
God speaking and he says " When all you can see is your pain, perhaps then you lose sight of me?"
And really what we should be doing is in pain is turning towards him. I know I am guilty of blaming God for a lot, especially these last couple of years. And it is not that he isn't with us all of the time, but it was more like how could you cause so much pain to a family, how come if you are the God of all that is good, why is there such evil in the world. I have been quick to judge and blame God when in reality I should of been realizing that he had been there right by my side the whole time. He took care of us, he comforted us. It is hard to fathom that he is always there when you don't see him, but that is what faith is.
I believe now more than ever after reading this book, that God and dad and Uncle Wally and all that have gone before us are right there, sitting next to me each day, being there with me with each decision I make whether good or bad, being there loving me for who I am.
Sorry for rambling, but this book, it has just had such a powerful effect on me - I am sure I will be rambling some more :)
Miss and love you dad,
Much love to all,
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